18th December 2012 09:00:00
Five TV Christmas Specials We'd Love To See
A round-up of the five Christmas specials we'd dearly love to see. Even Dexter had a Yuletide episode this year, so anything's possible.
Driving Homeland For Christmas
If you think about it, thematically speaking Homeland is ripe for festive adaptation. Because this show is all about the ambiguity of motivations, and Christmas is all about the ambiguity of presents.
SO you can sit there, speculating at all the clues: "What's in the box? What shape is it? Can you hear any ticking noises? Does Carrie really love Brody, or is she just using him? Does that mean she'll only spend a few dollars on his present?"
Seriously, if we don't see a Homeland Christmas special in season three, something has gone wrong.
Have Yourself A Merlin Little Christmas
Well, we're kinda getting a Merlin festive special this year: the series finale is airing on Christmas Eve, but I don't expect the Camelot crew to spend much time giving each other gifts. They'll be too busy dying and (hopefully) finally coming out of the magical closet.
Not to mention, did Christmas exist in the time of Camelot? It's ambiguous. Still, wouldn't it be nice to see Merlin fret over the best present to give Arthur, reflecting his love and loyalty but not revealing the desire to steal him away from Gwen?
And perhaps they could send a message of festive healing and love to Morgana, who would finally renounce gothy evil and come join them for a glass of egg nog. And the Great Dragon could dress as Santa. Oh, it would be magical.
Shame this is the last series, so that's all off the menu.
Be Prepared, Young Stark - Santa Is Coming
Alright, they're adapted from novels, so the odds of a Game of Thrones festive episode is even lower than some of these others. Nonetheless, there's potential for warm family gift-giving over a weekend, before the holiday season ends and the Starks, Lannisters and chums are obliged to resume the stabbing and screwing.
Oh, and giving Christmas cards might finally force characters to figure out their relationships to each other. "Dear cousin-in-law-via-incest, Merry Christmas! Winter is coming! Love, Tyrion!" I mean, there might be suicides once they've done those family trees, but it's all on-message for this show.
And any excuse for a massive dinner table banquet, really. That sounds like a great scenario for colourful regicide.
In case you hadn't guessed, most of these suggestions are jokes (sorry, Merlin fans), but Being Human would really work. They're set in contemporary Britain, characters feel human warmth, particularly the new Tom/Hal cast - the multi-species paranormal housemates would probably have a lovely little Christmas dinner and exchange some silly yet heartwarming gifts.
And then a disgusting villain would appear, they'd dispatch him and the undead love-in would resume. Seriously, I'd watch this. Sadly, due to BBC Three's insistence on putting it on in January, we haven't yet had a Being Human Christmas Special.
Or perhaps the writers feel a Christmas episode wouldn't fit the gothic sensibility they often strive for. But they are wrong.
If we were doing a Breaking Bad Christmas episode, we should have had it back in the early seasons when Walt's family still kinda existed. Nowadays, it would be them all sitting around a table, awkward, lonely, Walt tries to give Walter Jr a present, Skylar glares at him (because it's probably a junior meth-cooking kit), the baby cries, the turkey burns, Walt uses science to improve it slightly, but just as they're about to sit down to eat, Jesse dashes in shouting "Men in Santa masks are coming to kill us, bitch!"
Disaster, in short. And then some lingering shots of Walt staring into space looking sad. It's making me cry just thinking about it. Especially the next part, in which Walt gets up from the table, grim but ultimately resolute, and systematically slaughters all the Santa-mask people using home-made nerve gas hidden inside Christmas crackers.