”You’re going to be a terrible mother”
What if Hannah Horvath fell pregnant? It’s a question that few of us, I would surmise, have ever considered. Cast your mind back over each of the 54 episodes which have gone before and think about it… nuts, right? And yet, here we are. After last week’s revelation and poor Hermie - and in the middle of a binge-watch of The Equalizer no less - I was expecting a more sedate episode. Gummies definitely heads towards a fraught finale but Mama Loreen saves it from being a total Debbie-downer.
The mid season episode (only five more weeks to go before utter despair) opens with Hannah staring at a lentil contemplating the prospect of motherhood. Dr. Joshua is the only person so far, granted he’s the only other person who knows, that has mentioned the word abortion and yet it doesn’t appear to be a consideration. Hannah has staked a claim on the itty-bitty bean of a kid already. This is the episode in which she exerts her adultness. To its fullest? Nah, not quite.
Ray appears to be accepting Hermie’s death. He’s sad, sure but is using his friend’s sudden passing as a reason to make some changes, Elijah’s obsession with old classmate, Ryan Diller-Davis has reached the Adderall-overdose-and-Facebook-stalking phase (they all do, right?) as this alleged tone-deaf school chum is filling some Kinky Boots on Broadway. Elijah’s coping mechanism lately (and worryingly) seems to be popping pills, snorting blow, and smoking salvia - has he ever been the same since his affair with beautiful baldy Dil? Hannah’s list citing reasons why she shouldn’t be a mother provides a welcome distraction from his meltdown as well as a guffaw or two. Behold…
1. I am only 27
2. I act even younger than that
3. I’ll probably never see that dad again
4. I am bad at sports
5. I will make less than 24k this year
6. I once forgot about a guinea pig for six weeks
7. I have oral herpes
8. I don’t like getting my nipples sucked
Adam and Jessa have started shooting their “film” with Hannah’s doppelgänger (Tony award winner and former child star Daisy Eagan). The scenes we see are based on Adam’s script and serve, spanking aside, as reminders of their intense and often tender time together. Jessa, of course is furious, she’s expecting to depict their shitty relationship in which Hannah’s “inane prattle” and Adam’s indulgence lost out to her and “true feelings”.
Loreen’s arrival means Hannah can finally spill the beans, and mom’s reaction is very "chill" but then she is on medical marijuana-laced gummy worms. Ray is attempting to go through Hermie’s stuff and Marnie can’t even feign interest for an hour, rather making up the excuse to exercise at some sponsored silence type Yoga thing, honestly, I tend to switch off whenever the character opens her mouth these days. He breaks up with her, whether it’ll stick or she’ll manage to manipulate him into putting up with her princess shit some more, who knows. Who cares?
Hannah and Loreen head to the laundromat, roles reversed as mommy dearest sits crosslegged on a machine eating sweets while child is folding freshly laundered clothes. All is going relatively well, until Hannah suggests that her mother might meet somebody else and the “Midwestern rock chick” storms off. And so, Hannah and Elijah head off on foot to every known noodle bar or Chinese eatery trying to locate Mother Horvath who is definitely eating egg rolls and may or may not be in her underwear - “What is this - The Muppets take Manhattan?!’
The gummies have definitely taken hold now. Oh, and she isn't naked but wearing one of Hannah’s shirts, the one covered in lemons. Lemons… lemonade… I like the connotation. Also, the mother now needs some mothering but not before letting slip re: the lentil. I don’t think I was prepared by Elijah’s reaction and the scene between them is the best of the episode; raw and fraught with emotion and fury. It had me flinching as he said some downright awful things, words like “impulsive” and “reckless” are bandied round before the low-blow. I’m starting to feel that jealousy is really the root of all the friends' issues. that and being utter selfish pricks. But hey, Loreen vomits all over herself and really lightens the mood.
When Hannah finally gets home, she ends up sitting on the stoop with the actress from Adam’s movie and telling her about the pregnancy. This stranger who is playing a version of her (“fun”, “love interest", “mentally ill”) offers some positivity about the situation. Is the scene unnecessary? Perhaps, especially when we consider that Hannah is already a version of Dunham but I really like the idea that the only person who needs be happy, content, and at ease with Hannah’s life decision Hannah herself.
Girl, you got this.
You And Me by Penny & The Quarters ℗[1970-1975]/2011 Numero Group
Semi-Charmed Life The Obertones
I Got Up by Linda McCartney ℗1998 MPL Communications Inc/Ltd
”You’re going to be a terrible mother”